DAY 1: EXERCISE PROGRAM

So, I realized a few things today. 1- this may take me a little longer than 9 weeks. 2- PEE BEFORE YOU START!!! and 3- I am capable of far more than I ever thought possible! When I set out to do this I thought, “I’m just jogging, how hard is that!” In my mind I pictured the famous Cindy Crawford running down the beach clip that we’ve all seen a hundred times, except with my face! But as the time came (as you can tell from last nights post) The nerves started and by the time I actually stepped on the treadmill this morning I had myself totally convinced that I could not do this. There were a ton of people there (far more than I thought should be at 8:45 in the morning. Blast!), I thought of my activity level over the last 14+ months and the word CRAZY came to mind more than a few times and to top it all off, I had a weird pain in my leg that I was sure meant I shouldn’t run! After all walking is pretty good, right? It’s activity and that’s progress, right? So I step up to the first treadmill: OUT OF ORDER, and then the second: OUT OF ORDER again! By now I’m thinking this must be a sign that not only should I not run, maybe I shouldn’t be here! But alas, I push forward and finally find a working treadmill. As I started it up and went to my usual 2.3 speed that I always start out on (and sadly yes, that usually has me panting like the rhino in Jumanji), I found that it was easier than usual. So I went to 2.5. Again, I didn’t feel challenged in the least. So I bumped it to 2.8 and felt totally comfortable to start my warm-up walk. Because I had already exceeded my initial preconceived notions, I let the running part of the workout enter my mind again, and I realized that playing it safe has never worked for me in the past. I have always talked myself out of doing more, yet more is exactly what I wanted to do when I decided to start this! But still the nerves were there and as that 1^st jog mark approached the fat and skinny girls were battling in my head. At the last second the skinny girl won and I found myself madly pushing the button to increase my speed! I had no idea how high to go, I just kept pushing until it reached 3.9; and even though I was still pushing the button it wouldn’t go any higher so I took it as a sign. My legs immediately started on fire and my mind began to race. Wow! This was going to be hard. . . I shouldn’t have done this. . . 15 seconds down. . . am I having a Wiley Coyote moment, running on thin air because the numbers are getting farther and farther away. . . CRAP! They are getting farther away! MUST - RUN - FASTER!!! . . . ok, the numbers are coming into view again and I’m half way there. . . this is mental right? Isn’t that what Jillian always says?. . . ok, focus on the count down. . . 15 seconds left. . . numbers getting farther away again. . . 56, 57. . . I should grab the bar to steady myself while I struggle to lower the speed, AND, I did it. . . wait, what? I did it? WAHOOOO!!!! I DID IT!!!! U-DA!!!!! (for you Hero fans I totally had a Hiro moment!) I felt amazing! I had done something I didn’t think was possible. I didn’t think I wanted to try it again but decided to walk for 3 mins instead of the suggested 90 secs. When that time was up I felt like doing it again, so I did! I kept track of the seconds noting out loud (though in whisper) the quarter, half, and three quarter marks, and VOILA! Another 60 seconds jogged! I walked another 3 and did it again except this time was a little different. I had forgotten to pee before starting and already had 16+ ounces of water in me. All of the sudden counting quarter marks didn’t matter! It was a life and death fight to stop the dam from breaking!!! But I finished another 60 seconds! After that I thought it best to do the remaining 5 mins walking, but I proved to myself that I can do this even though it may not be in the 9 weeks allotted. I have hope for the first time in a long time that I will finally achieve my goal! It may not be fast or pretty but it is possible!

Love to my fam!

Candi